Registered nurse Hamish Cowan’s day job is in emergency mental health. In his downtime, he’s better known to many Australians as the lead singer of ephemeral Melbourne band Cordrazine.
With the band’s emotionally raw 1997 song Crazy landing in the top 20 of Triple J’s Hottest 100, and their debut album, From Here to Wherever, entering the ARIA chart’s Top 10, the eyes and ears of the nation were acutely turned on Hamish and his bandmates. For Hamish, it was too much. At the end of 1998, he walked away.
But while nursing beckoned and has kept him busy, music was his first love. The band got together again and released a new album, Always Coming Down, in 2010. Last year, they released their first new song in almost 15 years, and this month they are set to launch their new EP, You See in Me.
The EP launch will also be their final show.
Hamish has very kindly offered ANMF (Vic Branch) five double passes to the show – on Friday 12 December at the Northcote Social Club – to give away to members. See below for details of how to enter. He also answered a few questions for us.
Tell us a bit about yourself?
I am afraid I am not that interesting. I fear if I were to try and find something of note, I’d likely bore everyone before they even make it to the next question.
Which came first, music or mental health nursing?
Definitely music. Music has been a lifelong companion.
There is something wonderful about creative expression. It is born out of an attempt to make sense of and express something about the world we live in.
Often it is a response to something that happens in our lives. That means there is always some form of creative expression for every moment – something to comfort when we feel vulnerable, support moments of joy and celebration, or to help us make sense of, or express something we may not have words for ourselves.
How much does working in mental health nursing inform your music and songwriting?
It doesn’t influence directly, however mental health as a discipline is infused with the same curiosity as all great art.
Mental health at its core is about understanding ourselves within the broader context of humanness. Why do we do what we do? What is our purpose? Why are we here?
Often mental health difficulties owe their origin to some irreconcilable tension between a person and their context. So, mental health nursing has at its core the same search for meaning and understanding as music, art, philosophy and theology.
The band broke up before; what was behind the reformation?
The band never really broke up. I think that is unfair to the other members. The truth is, I walked away. The rest of the members would have loved to carry on.
With a little success comes a lot of enquiry. Understandably, people want to understand the people behind the thing that speaks to them. I found this very challenging.
I wrote a few songs, which people liked. Though when they did – like I had before them and still do – they wanted to understand more about the artist, [and] I became overwhelmed. I had to try and find answers to questions about myself that I had never considered. What I found was a whole lot of anxiety, self-doubt and a huge imposter syndrome. So, rather than be discovered to be the fraud I knew myself to be, I quit.
Why did we come back? We have a unique connection. As a collective, the band elevates my songs far above the quality I deem them to be. When we play, we don’t sound like anyone else – take away any one of us and we don’t function the same.
Cordrazine’s comeback show is also the last – why?
I still struggle with the same doubts and anxieties I always have. Performing live is therefore very confronting.
Though, rather than just slinking away again without saying anything, it feels important to celebrate what we have achieved and allow those who have supported us and enjoyed our music the opportunity to come together one last time in a final joyous occasion. By making it known, everyone gets to make the journey with us, though also in their own way. That feels quite special.
What can people expect from the show?
I am anticipating a very emotional night. We have been together for a long time, which means we have also been part of people’s lives for just as long. During that time the music has soundtracked significant moments and events in people’s lives.
Throughout the duration of the band, people will have been in and out of love, experienced the wonder of births, the sadness of death, along with every other conceivable experience you can imagine life can throw at us.
Music has the power to transport us into any one, or many, of these moments so for that reason alone I think it will offer quite a profound coming together in celebration and commemoration of those moments.
Anything else to add?
That is an interesting contemplation for the person described above, who is riddled with self-doubt. The obvious answer is obviously no. I will be shocked if anything above is of great interest.
